HOW DID I GET HERE?

To Lydia, for whom this couldn't have been possible. I love you, and I'm so grateful that you suggested I start a blog. I was minutes away from taking my third nap of the day.

'BLOGS ARE LAME'

Yes they are, for people who have jobs/lives/real interests etc. Unfortunately I have a lot of time on my hands. Too much time. So I'm joining my fellow self-indulgent, millennial fashion graduate peers and starting a fucking blog.
But here is the twist, this blog will not contain the following;

• FASHION TRENDS
• MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES
• GOOD LIFESTYLE ADVICE 
• HEALTHY RECIPES 

Instead it will consist of the following;

• MOANING 
• ANECDOTAL ACCOUNTS
• CAUTIONARY TALES 

'IS ROSIE DEAD?'

Short answer: No. 
Just because I avoid Facebook at all costs, doesn't mean that I've bitten the dust, shuffled off this mortal coil, fallen down a hole... I'm still here guys but you won't see me posing with a daiquiri or sharing cat videos anytime soon. 

I've not taken an extended hiatus from social media for ethical reasons. I wish I could say I hate how all consumed society is by it or the superficiality of it. But alas, I'm avoiding it for the simple reason that I hate seeing people have fun when I'm not having fun. 

Which leads me to the next instalment...

'WHY AM I NOT HAVING FUN?'

To answer this question, I'm going to have to take it back, throw it back to 1992 when I was a foetus. My spine decided not to follow the mainstream, it wanted to rebel against the natural course of human evolution and grew wonky. YAY.

Flash forward 23 years and I've been living at home for a year waiting for an operation to correct this. This time at home has taught me so much, for example; it is actually possible to revert to being 15 again! Who knew. I'm like Tom Hanks in 'Big' but in the reverse order... 

I know I know, I am incredibly lucky to be able to live back at home, rent free and have unrestrained access to the biscuit and crisp cupboard. But it is trying at times, especially for my parents who have to cope with an adult child who boomeranged back into their home. (And yes, I am unemployed. Not claiming benefits though, too lazy to have to rock up to the meetings every week...)

SO living at home, in the North Yorkshire moors isn't exactly where the notion of fun originated. There are some pretty funny moments though, ones that I hope I don't forget when I've rejoined society and become an ordinary adult, commuting to work and all that shit. And seeing as my memory is shocking, one cell away from emulating a fishes (Doc's words, not mine) This blog will be a reminder of the period of my life that I have entitled; 'WONKYSPINEGATE'